How to Deal With a Crush

Having a crush on someone is both exciting and terrifying at the same time. If you’ve got it bad for someone, first let yourself feel all the feelings. Then, if you don’t want them to know you have a crush, try to act normal around them. Otherwise, turn your flirt on and make the first move. Fingers crossed they’re crushing on you, too! But if they aren’t, pick yourself up and remember that there are plenty of other crushes in your future.

EditHandling Your Crush
Copy their body language if you want to show that you’re interested. Mirroring is a popular body language technique where you imitate how the other person stands, moves, and talks. It “reflects” that you’re in sync with them. For example, if they’re leaning in, lean in, too. And if they take a sip of their drink, well, you take a sip of yours. It’s so subtle, they won’t even realize what you’re doing.[1]
This works in conversation, too, with tone, pitch, and words. For example, if they’re using a sarcastic tone, mimic that. And if they’re speaking softly, lower your volume as well.

Mirroring should be natural and understated. Don’t copy every single thing they do. Just try to imitate their overall body language. Otherwise, if you move every time they move or obsess over it, they’ll notice something is off.

Act normal around them if you want to keep your crush a secret. No matter how much you might be freaking out on the inside, keep your actions calm and collected on the outside. That means talking at a normal pace and volume, remembering to breathe, and carrying a normal conversation. Just be yourself! For example, if you’re typically pretty reserved or quiet, don’t suddenly start chatting nervously nonstop. On the other hand, if you usually talk to your crush a lot, try not to get tongue-tied or silent around them.
Avoid trying so hard to hide your feelings that you end up being mean or hurting your crush. For example, joking and teasing is okay if it’s harmless, but don’t say something like “Wow you look like you’ve gained a few!” if you know they’re self-conscious about their weight.

If you’re struggling to act normal or if you get really nervous around them, try taking a few deep breaths to calm your nerves before you start talking. Focus on the sensation of the air flowing in and out of your nostrils.

Give yourself some distance if you aren’t able to hide your feelings. If you think you’ll make it obvious that you have a crush, like by acting embarrassed or tripping over your words, it’s best to spend less time around that person. Otherwise, they’ll be able to detect your romantic feelings, which could make things awkward for you. For instance, don’t go to the party they’re hosting or change your normal hallway route so you don’t run into them outside homeroom.[2]
If you’re in the same class or have another unavoidable activity together, you can still give yourself space. For example, sit at a different table or ask someone else to be your lab partner.

Don’t make it obvious that you’re distancing yourself. For instance, if you see them walking towards you in the hall, don’t dramatically run away. Instead, smile back politely and keep walking.

Distract yourself by spending time doing things you love. The more time you spend sitting alone at home, the more time you’ll obsess over your crush. Instead, find fun ways to fill your time and take your mind off your feelings. For example, make plans with different friends so your weekend is completely booked, or teach yourself a new hobby.[3]
Not only will focusing on yourself make you stop thinking about them, it will also make you a more cultivated person in general. Win-win!

If you still find yourself checking your phone while you’re with your friends or doing another activity, try putting your phone on “Do Not Disturb” mode so you won’t get notified if they text you, or unfollow or mute them on social media.

EditDealing with Your Feelings
Journal about what you’re feeling if you aren’t ready to talk about it. Maybe you don’t want to tell anyone about your crush, but you also don’t want to keep everything bottled up inside. Instead, write down your emotions in a journal. For example, note what you like about your crush, how they make you feel, what you wish would happen, etc.[4]
Remember that your journal is for your eyes only, so don’t hold back! Let your thoughts flow freely and write whatever comes to mind.

You can also type out your thoughts in a Microsoft Word document on your laptop or in the Notes app on your phone if you’d like.

Journal as often as you want to or need to. You can set aside time every day to do it, or simply write when the inspiration strikes. For instance, you might just journal after you have a run-in with your crush.

Tell your friend about your secret crush if you feel comfortable. If you just have to talk to someone how you’re feeling, but you don’t want to tell your crush, open up to a friend who you trust. Remind them that they cannot tell anyone else, and that whatever you say has to stay between the 2 of you. Then, let the gushing begin![5]
For example, start the conversation with something like, “I have something important I want to tell you but you have to promise not to tell anyone, not even our other friends, okay? It’s really personal.”

Pick a private place, like in your bedroom or in the car, to have these conversations. You don’t want anyone to overhear who isn’t supposed to.

Don’t tell your friends about your crush if you don’t trust them or if they have a reputation for being unable to keep things to themselves. Choose wisely who you tell.

If you’re worried about your friends accidentally spilling your secret, talk about your crush to your parents or older siblings instead. They can give you advice on how they’ve dealt with their own crushes, too.

Enjoy the fun of having a crush by letting yourself fantasize sometimes. Crushing on someone isn’t all bad. In fact, it can be super exciting! Allow yourself to feel those butterflies in your stomach and dream about the perfect date with your special someone. You can also embrace your new romantic side by listening to love songs, watching romantic movies, or reading sappy poetry, for example.[6]
To prevent your crush fantasies from consuming your time and life, schedule time to think about your crush, as silly as it sounds. For example, set a timer for 20 minutes every night before bed. After those 20 minutes are up, turn your attention to something else.

Come up with a list of their flaws to put things in perspective. When you have a crush, you tend to start thinking of them as this perfect person, which makes your obsession even worse and it makes it hurt even more if they reject you. Brainstorm what isn’t so great about them, like whether they aren’t into horseback riding like you are or whether they dated your best friend last year. Write the list on a piece of paper or keep it on your phone, then look at it whenever you feel that you’re getting carried away.
The “flaws” can be whatever makes them less than your ideal person, no matter how picky or insignificant those characteristics seem. For example, maybe your crush is exactly your height, but you prefer someone taller than you.

EditMaking a Move
Ask plenty of open-ended questions to let them talk about themselves. Being able to keep the conversation going is important when you’re flirting. And people love to talk about themselves. Let your crush do most of the talking by asking questions about what they did last weekend, who their favorite band is, or how they like to spend their free time. Focus on questions that require more than a “yes” or “no” so the conversation continues flowing.[7]
Ask a question like, “If you could be an animal, what would you be?” instead of “Would you want to be a cat?” Or ask, “What do you think about the book we’re reading in English?” instead of “Do you like the book?”

Don’t force questions into the conversation. Too many questions will feel more like an interview than flirting. Ask them whenever it feels natural and choose questions that follow the topic of conversation.

If they say they love pizza, for example, ask something related like, “What are your favorite toppings?” instead of jumping to a random question like “What’s your favorite song?”

Drop subtle hints in conversation if you’re too shy to ask them out. You’re definitely not the one who’s going to make the first move, and that’s okay. Get them to do the asking by strategically including signs in your next conversation. If the 2 of you are talking about favorite movies and they mention one they’re looking forward to seeing in theaters, say, “I can’t wait to see that one, either!” or even, “I really want to see that but none of my friends will go with me.” That leaves the perfect opening for them to ask if you want to go with them.
Don’t be discouraged if they don’t pick up on your hints. That’s the thing about being subtle: It doesn’t always work.

It works both ways, too. If you notice that they’re dropping hints about hanging out, realize it might be a sign they want you to ask them out.

Have a specific date, time, and place in mind before you ask them out. Don’t say, “We should hang out sometime.” It’s vague and likely means it will never happen. Know exactly what you want to do and when so they can either say yes or no. For example, say, “Do you want to go to midnight bowling with me on Saturday night?” instead of “Maybe we can go bowling soon.”[8]
If they aren’t free at the time that you suggested, offer another time. But if it seems like they’re blowing you off, take the hint. For instance, if you ask to go bowling on Friday and they say they’re busy, say “How about the following weekend?” If they’re still busy say something like, “Okay, well just let me know the next time you’re free!”

Keep it casual by inviting them to a group outing or party. If you aren’t ready for a one-on-one date or if you’re not totally sure they’re into you, ask them to hang out with you and your friends or go to the football game on Friday night with a bunch of people from English class. It takes some of the pressure off and gives them a chance to see you in your natural element, surrounded by your friends.[9]
For example, if your friend is throwing a party, ask, “Hey, Sarah is having a pool party Saturday. Do you want to come?”

The one downside of group outings is that you might not get much face time with your crush. Make it a point to pull them aside for a few minutes during the event, whether it’s to go get drinks for everyone or to chat a little bit away from the group.

Keep in mind that inviting someone to a party or hangout with a bunch of other people is very subtle. They may not get the hint that you’re interested in them so increase your flirting during the event to make it clear.

Ask them out with a grand gesture if you’re feeling brave. With great risk comes great reward, even in the world of dating and crushes. If you’re 99% sure they’re into you or if you simply are ready to fully go for it, brainstorm an outside-of-the-box way to ask them on a date. Some examples include sending them flowers, writing “Will you go out with me?” in chalk on their driveway, or serenading them with a romantic song. It will definitely make you stand out and prove how much you like them.
Get inspiration by looking up promposals online or searching the #promposal hashtag on Instagram. These tend to be very over-the-top. Adapt them to fit your style and preference.

Be prepared that they might say no. If you’re asking them out publicly, that could be humiliating for you.

EditCoping with Rejection
Remind yourself of what’s important by using the 5-year rule. Ask yourself, “Will this matter in 5 years?” The answer should be no, if you’re asking yourself whether a little crush will make that much of a difference in your life overall. While it might hurt now, remember that in the scheme of things, it’s a very small blip. Even if you’re convinced you just lost the love of your life, you have to accept that it’s not meant to be. Ask instead, “What will matter in 5 years?” and focus on those things instead, like your education or career.[10]
If you think the answer is that yes, your rejected crush will matter in 5 years, ask yourself why you feel that way. Is it because you think there’s no one else out there for you? Challenge those thoughts by digging deeper and listing the reasons why your thinking is irrational.

Write down positive affirmations and put them where you can see them. It’s tough not to feel like your crush wasn’t into you because you weren’t good enough. Remind yourself of how awesome you really are by writing down uplifting sayings like “I believe in myself” or “I am enough” on sticky notes. Hang them in places you’ll see every day like on your bathroom mirror or your closet door.[11]
Change the background of your phone to be a positive quote image, too. Whenever you check the time or get a text message, you’ll see it.

Find positive affirmations with a quick Google search or browse inspirational boards on Pinterest. Make your own Pinterest board filled with quotes that you can refer to when you’re feeling down.

Surround yourself with the people who love you for you. It’s healthy to take time for yourself and cry, but don’t withdraw. Rely on the support of your friends and family to get you through your hurt. Spending time with people who value and appreciate you will not only make you feel better about yourself, it will distract you from the sting of your rejection.
Say yes when your friends ask you to join them for a night out, even if it’s the last thing you want to do, or call your mom just to talk when you’re feeling lonely.

If you’re really struggling, ask your friends and family to write down some of their favorite things about you in a list and look at it whenever you need a confidence boost.

Be careful you don’t use socializing and activities to completely avoid your pain. Find a balance of social time and alone time.

Get professional help if you can’t move on after 4 to 6 weeks. While it’s totally normal to be sad or hurt after you get rejected by someone, it is not normal if you feel depressed or if your emotions are preventing you from everyday life. Make an appointment with a therapist or psychiatrist to work on healthy coping techniques and ways to challenge negative thoughts so you can move on.[12]
A psychiatrist is able to prescribe medicine if you have a chemical imbalance like depression that can be treated medically.

Find a therapist who’s covered by your health plan by contacting your insurance provider. They’ll give you a list of doctors who you can see and only be required to pay a small copay.

If you’re feeling suicidal, get help immediately. Call the emergency room or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.[13]

EditRelated wikiHows
Get Along with Your Crush

Get Your Crush to Be Your Friend

Become Best Friends with Your Crush

Act Normal Around Your Crush

Attract the Guy You Have a Crush On

Win Your Crush (Girls)

Deal With Being Disappointed by Your Crush

Get a Guy to Fall for You

EditSources and Citations

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Today in History for 10th February 2019

Historical Events

60 – St Paul thought to have been shipwrecked at Malta
1549 – Tomé de Sousa appointed governor general of Brazil
1966 – “Valley of the Dolls” by Jacqueline Susann is published by Bernard Geis Associates in the US – sold over 31 million copies
1968 – “Spooky” by Classics IV hits #3
1991 – Lithuania votes for independence from USSR
2007 – NFL Pro Bowl, Aloha Stadium, Honolulu, HI: AFC beats NFC, 31-28; MVP: Carson Palmer, Cincinnati Bengals, QB

More Historical Events »

Famous Birthdays

1918 – Idwal Pugh, British ombudsman
1937 – Yuriy Poyarkov, USSR, volleyball player (Olympic 2 gold/1 silver-1964-72)
1957 – Debbie Brinkley, Tasmania, golfer (1990 T25 Victorian Open)
1964 – Mir Aimal Kansi, Pakistani perpretrator of the 1993 shootings at CIA Headquarters, born in Quetta, Pakistan (d. 2002)
1964 – Francesca Neri, Italian actress (Ages of Lulu), born in Trento, Italy
1965 – Marjolein Macrander, Dutch actress (Drowned), born in Zutphen, Netherlands

More Famous Birthdays »

Famous Deaths

1783 – James Nares, composer, dies at 67
1822 – Albert Casimir, Duke of Teschen and Governor of the Austrian Netherlands, dies at 83
1868 – David Brewster, Scottish physicist and inventor (kaleidoscope), dies at 86
1906 – Ezra Butler Eddy, Canadian businessman (E.B. Eddy Company) and politician, dies at 78
1960 – Aloysius Stepinac, Croatian cardinal (b. 1898)
2006 – J Dilla, American rapper/producer (b. 1974)

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How to Identify Beetles

There are over 350,000 identified species of beetles![1] This can make it a daunting task to identify a single beetle. However, if you find a beetle in your home or outdoors, you might want to know what kind of beetle you’re looking at. Start by examining the beetle closely to identify its basic features, and then use the beetle’s appearance to help you figure what kind of beetle it is.

EditChecking for Basic Features of a Beetle
Look for 2 hard wing coverings on the insect’s back. Beetles have wings, but they are covered by 2 hard wing coverings. This is what gives a beetle its distinctive hard-shelled look. The hardened wing coverings on a beetle’s back are also the reason why a beetle will make a crunching sound if you accidentally step on one.[2]
If the insect is a beetle, its wings should not be visible unless the coverings are lifted up and the wings are extended.

Check for chewing mouth parts on the underside of its head. Beetles have sharp mandibles (chewing mouthparts) so they can consume other insects, plant matter, fungus, and decaying plants and animals. Look at the underside of the insect’s mouth to see if they have sharp-looking mouthparts.[3]
If the insect has a long, straw-like protrusion, then it is not a beetle.

See if the insect has 6 legs. Beetles have 6 legs distributed between their front and back body segments. When they are in their larval stage, the legs are all on the front of a beetle’s body. Otherwise, the legs are spread between the front and back segments. Count the insect’s legs and check their location to determine if it is a beetle.[4]
If the insect has 4 legs, 8 legs, or more, then it is not a beetle.

EditIdentifying Large Beetles
Identify a click beetle by a narrow, long body and a clicking sound. A click beetle, also known as Elateridae, can snap the front and back sections of its body together to make a clicking sound, and it can also use this motion to flip itself over if it gets stuck on its back. Click beetles are black or dark brown, and they have grooved sections running down their backs.[5]
An adult click beetle may be between long.

This beetle is common all over the world and there are over 900 species of click beetles in North America alone.

Watch for a fast moving beetle with a strong smell to spot a ground beetle. Ground beetles are black with grooves on their backs, and they produce a strong odor. They usually hang out under logs and leaves, but they may wander into your house through a crack or open window. These beetles move quickly, so it might be hard to get a close look.[6]
Keep in mind that these beetle are harmless. They eat other insects, but will not bite you or your pets.

Check for longhorn beetles with long-antennae hanging out around dead trees. These are called longhorn beetles because their antennae are reminiscent of longhorn cattle. The antennae may be straight, curved, or half and half. Longhorn beetle coloring can range from black, brown, green, yellow, red, or a combination of these colors.[7]
There are 413 species of longhorn beetles in Texas alone, but they all share the distinguishing feature of long antennae.

Inspect the head of the beetle for a scoop shape to see if it’s a mealworm. If the beetle has a rounded head with a scoop neck shape around the base of it, then it is most likely a mealworm. Despite the name, these are actually beetles. Mealworms usually live outdoors, but you may find them infesting containers of flour and other dried grains.[8]
Keep your grains in air-tight containers to prevent an infestation.[9]

Identify an oldhouse borer by white spots on its wings and enlarged leg segments.[10] If you look closely at an oldhouse borer, you may notice small gray hairs on its back. You may also be able to make out 3 dark eyes on each side of the beetle’s mouth.[11]
These beetles usually turn up in a house about 4 to 7 years after it has been built.

EditIdentifying Small Beetles
Check for a black body with an elongated abdomen to identify a carpet beetle. This is most likely a black carpet beetle.[12] These beetles are usually black or very dark brown and their bodies are oval shaped. They range in size from .[13]
Varied color carpet beetles are similar to black carpet beetles. These are very small () beetles with bright yellow and green markings.[14]

Look for green and black stripes on an elm beetle. These beetles are long.[15] They feed on tree leaves, especially on elm tree leaves, and they lay their eggs on the undersides of leaves as well.[16]
Elm leaf beetles can damage trees if they get out of control, so you may need to manage them with pesticides.

Identify ladybugs by a brightly-colored, rounded body and black spots. These are also known as lady beetles and in some countries, ladybirds.[17] Their bodies may be yellow, orange, or red with black markings, but they can also be black with red, orange, or yellow markings.[18]
There are over 450 species of lady beetles in North America alone.

Protect your ham from larger beetles. Larder beetles are black beetles that are known to infest cured ham. They have a whitish, silver streak running across their back and they are oval-shaped.[19]
Be sure to keep ham covered when it is out, and put it in the refrigerator to store it.

Watch for cylindrical-shaped bark beetles around firewood. Bark beetles are only about and they are common around piles of firewood.[20] Bark beetles may also infest live trees, which may die as a result of a bark beetle infestation.[21]
Bark beetle infestations create dry, dead wood, which intensifies forest fires.

Identify drug store beetles by lines on the wing covers and a slightly bent head. The coloring of these beetles may range from brown to reddish brown, and they are around long. These beetles infest packaged food.[22]
If the head is so far bent over that the beetle has a hump, then it is likely a cigarette beetle. These are almost identical to drugstore beetles but they appear to be hunchbacked.[23]

Check for rust beetles with a rust-colored, flattened body with clubbed antennae. These are also known confused flour beetles.[24] These beetles feed on corn flour and other packaged products.[25]
Make sure to keep your corn flour and other flours in air-tight containers to protect them from these pests.

Inspect your rice and grains for long-beaked beetles called weevils. Weevils are only about and brown with a pointed head that resembles a beak. Their bodies are long and slender.[26]
Weevil infestations in rice and other grains are common. These pests can chew right through paper and plastic, so it is best to keep any loose grains and flour in air-tight glass, metal, or hard plastic containers.[27]

Look for protrusions on the sides of a saw-toothed beetle’s thorax. These beetles are only about long. Their favorite foods to infest and eat are sunflower seeds and nuts, but they can also infest large quantities of grains.[28]
Sawtoothed grain beetles are more likely to get into the food supply if the bins are not sanitized at least every 6 months.[29]

Since there are so many different beetle varieties, you may only be able to narrow down to a category of beetle using distinguishing features. After that, you may need to peruse an entomology (study of bugs) website to find your beetle. Browse pictures until you find a match!

EditSources and Citations
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